Three Missing Girls
As those who have read my blog before know, I am not currently a single guy. Neeta would probably punch me in the side if I went around claiming otherwise. I do, however, love the ladies... and there are a few who've been missing from my life for some time now, and I've found myself wondering about them lately.
I've known Jack since high school. She was far more popular then I, but we ended up meeting in drama class and became fast friends. She was witty, bright, and very friendly. Things have been rough for her since high school. I run into her very infrequently nowadays, but she usually has some new type of bad news to give me, and it always makes me feel terrible. Still, I care enough about her that I wish the very best for her. It's been at least nine months since I last spoke with her. I think it's time I called her.
On that note, I've also known Ed since high school. She was the friend of one of my ex-girlfriends, but we remained friends after the breakup. She's a bit more... well, agressive then Jack was. One might even call her stubborn. She once threw her shoe at me. Don't get me wrong though, I still love her dearly. I still run into her at times too, we speak usually once every five or so months. It's been about seven though, and I think it's time I called her.
Finally, there's WW. WW I've known for a few years, but I met her while working for Sir. Unicorn Special Events, not at school. For a long time I found myself smitten by WW, and honestly persued her as a romantic interest. Alas, as it is most of the time with my luck, she was more interested in being my friend. We did remain friends, and have seen each other off and on mostly through out mutual friend Spiders. Like Jack and Ed though, it's been a few months. Maybe it's time I called her.
Ah well. Too many ladies own a little piece of my heart it seems. It gets hard to keep track of them, and occasionaly I do worry about them.
If you'll excuse me. I've got a few phone calls to make.
Some Random Things
Finally got a new USB plug for my wireless internet! Huzzah! Better internet connection for me! That also translates into more updates. Even pointless ones like this one.
Also, I instantly purchased Futurama season 4 today.
On that note, I think I'm going to watch it.
Internet Movie Database
I've been spending a great deal of time on the
IMDB lately.
One of my buddies, Dr. Teeth, has been trying to get fired from his day job for a few weeks now, and to pass the time he decided to compile a list of every movie he's ever seen. Well, that's not entirely true. His girlfriend asked him to do it, and he's just using the free time he's giving himself at work to do it.
Anyway, long story short, a whole bunch of us are now following in his footsteps to see just how many movies we've ever seen.
I'm actually quite disappointed. I started in 1960, and by 1981 I'm only at maybe eighty or so movies. Granted, I have seen some movies from before 1960, and I'm not yet going through foreign films, but I still thought I'd seen more movies then that.
On the other hand, I'm coming across movies that I have seen that I'd have never thought to list if I was going just by memory. Like, say,
Condorman. Or
The Jerk.
So this is my tip of the hat to the
Internet Movie Database. If anyone ever wants to follow in the insanity and list every movie they've ever seen for their own peace of mind, it's definately the place to check.
Just try not to get distracted by all the porn titles.
Furher Bush?
Found a neat link today detailing the
14 Characteristics of Fascism. Definately worth checking out.
Basically, a political scientist composed a list of fourteen of the most notable tenants of any fascist regime, such as Hitler's Germany or Mussolini's Italy, and explains them. It's a scary list and a few of them seem to apply to the modern United States of America.
But don't take my word for it (afterall, I'm just an uninformed Canuck), check it out for yourself. In fact, the whole webpage is interesting and worth a skim;
Fascism Watch.
Comic Books
Can't really think of much to post today, so I decided to mention what comics I've been reading lately.
First and foremost, I just finished reading
30 Days of Night. A gritty read, with very raw imagery to be sure. The premise is also both unique and promising. I didn't get really drawn into the story or atmosphere though. Plus the plot seemed very rushed to me. One of the elements I look for in horror is the slow rise of the tension and overt creepyness and
30 Days doesn't take the time to let that tension build.
Good read, yes... but not the best horror story I've ever read. If I were rating it, I'd give it maybe
5 bombs.
I also picked up
Silent Hill: Dying Inside. Anyone who has checked my blog before will know that I'm a fan of the
Silent Hill series of video games, and although my initial instinct was to avoid a comic book based on a video game, I decided to give it a peek.
I've gotten through about three issues so far, and it's... well... interesting. First and foremost, the main characters change after only two issues, so already I'm finding myself forced to get aquainted with new protagonists. The atmosphere of the town itself seems somehow... wrong. Almost heavy handed in many cases. Like they tried to use imagery from the game, but simply didn't know how to use it in moderation.
I've still got two issues to go, however, so we'll see how things wrap up.
Finally, I picked up volume one of
Hellblazer, on the recommendation of Dr. Teeth. Haven't cracked this one yet, but I'll let you all know what I think when I do.
2004 Edmonton Fringe Reviews
Well, here they are, Scott's 2004
Fringe Festival Reviews!
Just a note on my reviewing, I use a scale of 10 bombs. 10, of course, being the best rating I can give.
I've seen five acts this year (which is somewhat disappointing), but it does mean I can likely review it all in one post. So here we go, in the order I saw them.
Heracles: the Mythologically Accurate Adventures
Heracles is a fun show starring 4 actors who play pretty well every character in the Heracles myth. It's filled with zany, campy comedy, but remains true to the source material within the confines of plot. It was hysterically funny, and the group I went with (Y2Jago, Ninjas, Neeta and myself) seemed to greatly enjoy it as well. Overall, I give
Heracles:
6 bombs... make that
7 bombs for including ending credits.
Apocalypse Kow
Now, admittedly I'm a little biased here. I am friends with all five of the Kows, so I shouldn't even review them. However, I like to consider myself an objective critic, and as such I will bar no holds.
Apocalypse Kow are a local acapella act, and the only local act on the outdoor stages this year. They are funny, first and foremost. The group has fantastic chemistry and it shows in their banter (which is primarily improvised). Secondly, they are
talented. All five Kows can sing! Which is more then can be said for the
Fringe's other
acapella act, Saskatchewan's own
Hoja, who suck. And so
Apocalypse Kow get:
6 bombs, plus one for being local, and another because I know them personally for a grand total of
8 bombs.
Macbeth
Ah, the dreaded Scottish Play, which all theatre actors dread to speak the name of less they
curse themselves and their performance. No play is considered more jinxed then Shakespeare's
Macbeth.
So, of course, what better idea then to put on a performance of it! Now, these guys have found an interesting way to counteract the dreaded Scottish Play curse... they've decided to put on their performance in the middle of a hockey rink! Yes! Surely if they aren't actually
on stage then they cannot possibly end up cursed!
Well,
Macbeth does, unfortunately have it's drawbacks. The cast is made up primarily of young talent, which means that the acting is grade school level at best. The few adults in the cast work hard to counteract this, and they all shine brightly, but sometimes it just isn't enough. Moreover, the locale, though brilliant and open enough to accommodate a "round" style performace (audience seated around the stage), ended up getting dark, cold and buggy by the end of the performance. Add to that Shakespeare's notorious long windedness and it ends up being quite a long, uncomfortabel haul. Overall, I give
Macbeth:
4 bombs. However, if I was judging
only the adult cast, I'd raise it to
6 bombs total.
Showboatin'
Do you like British comedy? Well, Neeta does, and she took me to see
Showboatin' with high hopes of seeing some truly Pythonesque humour. Boy were we mistaken!
Showboatin' was NOT the zany British comedy we expected. It was however and
excellent play. It was chalk full of comedy, with some truly funny moments, and a great story about what people are willing to do to be famous. I thought it was really brilliant. Neeta agreed, but though the acting could have been better. With that in mind Neeta gives
Showboatin':
7 bombs. I however give it
8 bombs because I liked it better.
Waiting for Her Beau
What a fantastic title.
Waiting for Her Beau is a reworked version of
Waiting for Godot starring an all female cast. It is very much absurdist theatre, and had both exicting characters (if insane) and a fantastic... repeat
fantastic cast.
Waiting is probably the best show I saw this fringe. I don't say that lightly. I was able to sit through the entire show and truly enjoy every line as the characters exchanged witty, often absurd banter, following their own unknown logic as they wait for the mysterious
Guy to call on a public telephone. I again saw this one with Ninjas, Y2Jago and Neeta, and they all loved it just as much as I did. Thus, I give
Waiting for Her Beau my highest recommendation, and a solid:
9 bombs
And so that wraps up my 2004 review of the
Fringe, and my emergency Saturday update. See you all on Monday!
Random Update
Sorry, it's
Fringe week here in Edmonton, so it's become hard to be near a computer long enough to make an update. Couple that with my currently unreliable internet connection at home and it means that my latest update is going to be both short and sweet.
However, I will make an emergency
Saturday post to make up for missing the Wednesday post! So do not fear!
Likely I'll post about the
Fringe shows I made it out to see this year (so far 2, likely as many as 5 by the end), and give short reviews. I like to think of myself as cultured anough to judge theatre.
However I also watch
World Wrestling Entertainment...
Bees! Bees! Why can't I reason with them!?
A fun little update for today as I go off to my job interview. Got this off the
Fortean Times webpage today:
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Kids throwing rocks stirred up more trouble than they bargained for when they dislodged a swarm of bees from an enormous hive built in the wall of a Southern California apartment building, authorities said on Friday.
The article goes on to explain that there were an estimated
120,000 bees in the hive!
May I go on record as saying "That's a shitload of bees!"
Here's the part of the article that got me though;
The quarter-ton honeycomb, which may have accumulated inside the apartment wall for years, was so big it was threatening the structural integrity of the two-story building, Horner said.
Yowza! When the bees actually compromise the structural integrity of a building, it's time to do something about the local bee population! Again "
Shitload of bees!"
The full article can be read
here.
Silent Hill
My internet connection is giving me hell today, so I decided to spend most of the day doing other stuff. Chief among them was play
Silent Hill 2 again.
Silent Hill 2 may be dated, but it remains one of my favourite games. It is, to quote one
E.Chambers "A taught, psychological masterpiece." True to the test of time, the game is still scary, even on a replay.
And with
Silent Hill 4 on the way, I'm quite excited!
My link for the day, therefore, is
Silent Hill related. This is a major
plot breakdown of all three
Silent Hill games that have thusfar been produced. It is a pretty interesting read.
In the meantime, if I neglect to post on a day or two, it is likely because my internet is down. You've been forwarned.
Driver + DVD Player = Aw hell...
Care of the
Fortean Times webpage, I found this
litte jewel:
KENAI, Alaska -- A man was acquitted Tuesday of charges he caused a fatal crash by taking his eyes off the road while watching a movie on a DVD player mounted on his truck dashboard.
Jurors acquitted Erwin Petterson Jr., 29, of two counts of second-degree murder and two counts of manslaughter. No law in Alaska prohibits operating a DVD player in view of a driver.
May I just say,
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
What the shit was Erwin thinking when he decided to
watch a DVD while driving!? Did he not consider that taking his eyes off the road might be... well... dangerous perhaps!? Think with your brain man!
The article goes on to mention that he also had a Sony Playstation 2 hooked up in his truck as well. So, this guy... what... plays
Grand Theft Auto 3 while driving his semi-truck? How is this man not the most dangerous man on the road?
And yet, on a technicality, this asshole gets away with murder. Unintentional murder perhaps, but murder none-the-less. No... scratch that... this man knowingly created a distraction for himself while driving. He
purposefully circumvented the built in safety device in the DVD player that prevented it from working while driving. He took the lives of everyone else on the road into his clumsy hands, and he
killed those people. It's his damn fault, and no court will ever change that fact.
Sweet Christ!
Is these no justice left in this world?
Fun Links of the Day
Don't have much to say today, so I decided I'd just post some fun links.
First, here's a link to
The 20 Worst NES Games of All Time, as hosted by
Seanbaby.com.
Then, we'll throw in a link to a site of
retail horror stories.
How about the
God and Devil Show?
And our final selection for today, a fan written Star Wars parody comic.
Diary of a Crazed Mimbenite!
Enjoy!
Schtick or Improvisation?
Yesterday, I almost got into a heated discussion with a coworker of Neeta's over the television show
Whose Line is it Anyway?
For those who don't know what
Whose Line is all about, I'll share with you the description of the show given by
ABC.com.
Drew Carey leads a hilarious cast of improv geniuses, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie and Wayne Brady, through a series of sketches, one-liners, songs and zany scenes.
You'll notice that nowhere in this description does it actually mention that these "improv geniuses" are actually doing... well... improv? This is what we call 'Truth in Advertising', because Whose Line is NOT about good improv.
It is a show about Schtick.
Now, don't get me wrong. Schtick is funny. That's the whole point of schtick in the first place. But is it Improv? No.
Improvisation is the art of creating something out of nothing. It is the art of giving and taking offers from the people on stage with you, and trying to tie it together into a complete narrative. It is about taking risks, and most importantly, improv is not... NOT... about being funny.
There you have it. Improv need not be funny. It usually tends to be, granted, because believe it or not, comedy is easier to perform.
"But," you interject, "Whose Line has to be improv because they're making it up on the spot!"
Wrong again.
How often do you see Ryan Stiles get angry at Drew and make fun of him in a scene? Have you ever noticed Ryan and Colin Mochrie start making gay jokes during a scene? Or for that matter, watch as Colin mimes an enormus penis to get a laugh? Ever see Wayne Brady sing?
Ever see four contestants who do not include Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady and Colin Mochrie?
These men ARE good improvisors. Unfortunately they've started to fall into improv purgatory, a place where they always go for the cheap laugh by doing schtick they know the audience will enjoy. It is an easy trap to fall into because, frankly, going for the cheap laugh is far more simple then building to a better payoff.
So no, Whose Line is not a good improv show. It is, at best, a good situational comedy show.
They could fix this by changing up the cast more often. New blood allows for different styles, and forces old players to change. They could also start forcing players into games they aren't good at, for example they could have Colin Mochrie sing for a change (beacuse he hates it).
For good improv watch the old Whose Line is it Anyway? from Britian. Heck, even the Just for Laughs Improv Championship takes more risks.
You could also watch Comedy Inc. for good improv... because it sure as shit ain't Sketch Comedy.
Reality T.V = Practical Joke
I just finished watching the
Joe Schmo 2 season finale with my lady-friend (on a side tangent, Neeta and I have been together for 6 months today! Yay us!) and may I say that candid camera has come a long way.
This is what Reality TV should be. Two people taken into a completely bizarre situation and left to cope entirely on their own.
I'd watch
Survivor if they actually stranded twelve people on an uninhabited island and left them until only one was left. That would be a heck of a show... and probably quite controversial as well.
As for
Tim and Amanda of
Schmo? I can only say it's been fun watching your exploits, and I honestly wish I'd been in your shoes. It looks like it was a lot of fun.
On a side note, if I ever end up in DC, I'll be sure to keep an eye open for
T-Dubbs' Pub.
PotUS
It should be a testament to George W. Bush's skill as a politician that many such as myself dislike and fear him without actually being citizens of the United States. It takes a certain level of dangerous incompetence to make people around the world believe you should not be in charge of the most powerful military force in history.
So, on that note, here's a few links to sites poking some light-hearted fun at the Commander in Chief.
First, a little something I found while surfing
The Onion online. Wonder where people keep getting dirt on Bush? Case closed.
Second, comedian
Will Ferrell pokes some fun at Bush in an online add called
Straight Talk! It's quite funny and well worth watching.
Isn't it fun when Bush puts his foot in his mouth? Well, fortunately,
someone has been keeping track of all those fun little moments.
And finally, here's a few random Bush related links for those trying to keep track of the PotUS:
The Weekly Bush,
Where in the World is Bush,
The Bush Presidency, and
MisLeader.
Enjoy!
The Mod Squad
Where would the video game world be nowadays without the wonder that is Mods. Independant patches and levels are one of the best parts of some of the newer multiplayerr capable games, and I for one salute anyone who is willing to take the time to program a level or campaign for their favourite game, and share it for free on the net.
On that note, I've recently picked up
Doom 3. Great game (though
Half-Life 2 and
Halo 2 will likely be a wee bit better) but alot of people have complained about how
DARK the game is. I'm not talking thematically here, I mean visually, the levels have such poor lighting that you can't see anything. I'd spent so much time trying to switch between my flashlight and my guns that I'd begun killing things with my flashlight.
Then I found the
Duct-Tape Mod. Now the game is better. Basically, this mod duct-tapes a flashlight to your shotgun and your machine gun, so that you can see and be armed
at the same time! I highly recommend it to anyone seriously trying to get through
Doom 3 without using the cheat codes.
Speaking of Mods, I may as well also throw up a link to my favourite
Neverwinter Nights mod. It was written, scripted, ect, by
Stephen "Twoflower" Gagne (who, if you're a geek like me, also writes some very high quality anime fan-fiction). The name of the module is
Penultima, and it is a comical romp through a wacky fantasy setting. I highly recommend it to anyone with a sense of humour, and a love of fantasy spoofs.
2F's other
Neverwinter mod,
Elegia Eternum is also worth checking out, if you have a morbid love of psychological horror.
So there's my Sunday update. I'm uncertain I'm going to keep doing weekend updates, but I'll definately try to post something at least once a weekday.
Bob is Angry
Just a short little Saturday update.
I love the comic
Bob the Angry Flower. Usually funny, sometimes political and ultimately zany, Bob isn't afraid to spoof everything from quantum physics to Kofi Annan.
So this is my own little shout out fellow Edmontonian
Stephen Notley, the author and artist behind Bob. Kudos to you Stephen! May your fantastic sense of satire continue to lighten an otherwise uncertain time.
I encourage everybody to check it out and see for themselves.
Author Report
Gleefully, I just discovered that one of my favourite authors,
Richard K. Morgan, is coming out with his fourth novel next year titled
Woken Furies.
Woken Furies apparently will follow in the vien of
Altered Carbon and
Broken Angels, a series of dark tales involving the future noir character Takeshi Kovachs. I can hardly wait!
In other author news,
H.P Lovecraft's The Dreams in the Witch House is being reprinted in a collection by
Penguin Classics. It's good to see Lovecraft getting recognition as a classic horror author.
Cthulhu f'tagn!
Put Ann In A Cage
Here's an interesting (albeit both American and very biased) read by my second favourite fake journalist, Ann Coulter. It's called
Put The Speakers In A Cage and it got her fired from USA Today.
Does anyone seriously wonder WHY this woman can't seem to keep her columnist jobs for more then one article?
Ann Coulter is alot like Michael Moore. In fact, they're both peas in the same pod... though they do happen to be at two very opposite ends of that pod. They both have a message that they want to share, and I assume that it must be a damn fine message, but their delivery completely ruins it and no one takes them seriously.
Still, Ann is a good read, especially for those of you who are Michael Moore fans. He offers a very biased view from the political left, while Ann is a refreshing and biased view from the political right. Take them both with a grain of salt though, they both tend to misuse facts to reinforce their extreme views (though Ann tends to outright lie a little more often).
It's people like Ann and Michael that make American politics interesting. Unlike Canadians, the Americans have passion over issues and really get into their political process. I admire that.
Also, for the record, my favourite fake journalist is Jon Stewart.
The Daily Show is still, and always will be, the most important television news program... ever.
Welcome to the Bomb Shelter
So! I decided to once again give this whole "blog" thing a try. Seeing as my friends Dr. Teeth and Y2Jago are both starting up their own blogs here on Blog Spot, I figured now's as good a time as any to give it one more shot.
This is mostly just a introductory posting. I'll most likely post again a little later, and I'll post as things come to mind. Mostly this'll be my little spot to vent on the net, and if anyone happens to be reading... well, great and such.
Later.
